Intelligent Jokes
Thursday, July 31, 2008
jokes that require some thinking
> Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
> Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
> Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
> Only in America! .....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
> Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
> Only in America.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
> Only in America.....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER ....
> Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?
> Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
> Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
> Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? abbreviated = shortened; made briefer
> Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
> Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
> Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
> Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
> Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
> Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
> Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
> You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?! i know why!!! its too heavy!
> Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
> Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
> If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
Shujun XD
> Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
> Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
> Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
> Only in America! .....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
> Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
> Only in America.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
> Only in America.....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER ....
> Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?
> Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
> Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
> Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? abbreviated = shortened; made briefer
> Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
> Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
> Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
> Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
> Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
> Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
> Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
> You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?! i know why!!! its too heavy!
> Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
> Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
> If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
> If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Shujun XD
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